Songs For Learning English

Higgins: A lot of tomfoolery.

Colonel Pickering: It was an immense achievement.

Mrs Pearce: Well, Mr. Higgins?

Colonel Pickering: A triumph, Mrs. Pearce. A total triumph. Higgins, you were superb, absolutely superb. Tell us the truth now, weren't you a little bit nervous once or twice?

Higgins: No, not for a second.

Colonel Pickering: Not during the whole evening?

Higgins: No. The moment I saw we were going to win hands down I felt like a bear in a cage hanging about, nothing to do.

Colonel Pickering: It was an immense achievement.

Higgins: If I hadn't backed myself to do it, I'd have given up two months ago.

Colonel Pickering: Absolutely fantastic.

Higgins: Bah - a lot of tomfoolery.

Colonel Pickering: Higgins, I salute you.

Higgins: Oh, silly people don't know their own silly business. Colonel Pickering: Tonight, old man, you did it!
You did it! You did it!
You said that you would do it,
And indeed you did.
I thought that you would rue it;
I doubted you'd do it.
But now I must admit it that succeed you did.
You should get a medal
Or be even made a knight.
Higgins: It was nothing.
Really nothing.
Colonel Pickering: All alone you hurdled
Every obstacle in sight.
Higgins: Now, wait! Now, wait!
Give credit where it's due, A lot of the glory goes to you.
Colonel Pickering: But you're the one who did it!
Who did it, who did it!
As sturdy as Gibraltar,
Not a second did you falter. There's no doubt about it.
You did it!
I must have aged a year tonight.
At times I thought I'd die of fright.
Never was there a momentary lull.
Higgins: Shortly after we came in I saw at once we'd easily win;
And after that I found it deadly dull.
Pickering: You should have heard the ooh's and ah's;
Every one wondering who she was.
Higgins: You'd think they'd never seen a lady before.
Colonel Pickering:And when the Prince of Transylvania
Asked to meet her,
And gave his arm to lead her to the floor!
I said to him: You did it! You did it! You did it!
They thought she was ecstatic
And so damned aristocratic,
And they never knew
That you
Did it!
Higgins: Thank goodness for Zoltan Karparthy.
If it hadn't been for him I would have died of boredom.
Mrs Pearce: Karparthy? That dreadful Hungarian? Was he there?
Higgins: Yes. He was there alright. Up to his old tricks.
That blackguard who uses the science of speech
More to blackmail and swindle than teach.
He made it the devlish business of his
"To find out who this Miss Doolittle is."
Every time we looked around
There he was, that hairy hound From Budapest.
Never leaving us alone, Never have I ever known
A ruder pest.
Finally I decided it was foolish
Not to let him have his chance with her.
So I stepped aside, and let him dance with her.
Oozing charm from every pore
He oiled his way around the floor.
Every trick that he could play,
He used to strip her mask away.
And when at last the dance was done,
He glowed as if he knew he'd won!
And with a voice too eager,
And a smile too broad,
He announced to the hostess
That she was - a fraud!
Mrs Pearce: No!
Higgins: Jawohl!
Her English is too good, he said,
Which clearly indicates that she is foreign.
Whereas others are instructed in their native language
English people aren't.
And although she may have studied with an expert
Dielectician and grammarian, I can tell that she was born
Hungarian! Not only Hungarian, but of royal blood,
she is a princess!
Her blood, he said, is bluer than the Danube is, or ever was,
Royalty is absolutely written on her face.
She thought that I was taken in,
But actually I never was,
How could she deceive another member of her race?
I know each language on the map, said he,
And she's [as] Hungarian as the first Hungarian rhapsody!
Servants: Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
Congratulations! Professor Higgins! For your glorious victory!
Congratulations! Professor Higgins!
You'll be mentioned in history!
Rest of Servants: (Simultaneously) Congratulations, Professor Higgins!
For your glorious Victory! Congratulations,
Professor Higgins! Sing hail and hallelujah!
Every bit of credit,
For it all belongs to you!
Footman: (Simultaneously with Rest of Servants)
This evening, sir, you did it! You did it! You did it!
You said that you would do it And indeed you did.
This evening, sir, you did it! You did it! You did it!
We know that we have said it,
But-you did it and the credit
For it all belongs to you!